Ever changing parenting

My daughter Nora is in second grade and it scares me . I have to work really hard to not operate Based off of fear . I'm in this new season of life where it's no longer my influence alone along with the people I choose to surround her with but lots of outside sources at school. Which is where she spends 35 hours a week away from me. I know her core group of friends but from time to time a new name will pop up in conversation that I have never heard of before.

" Sally ( not the name ) says she doesn't want to be my friend anymore mom and that's really mean and hurts my feelings ."

What I want to say " OH NO SHE DIDN'T ...what's her last name? ..wait who's Sally ? Are you even friends with Sally ? .. Who cares don't talk to that girl she sounds awful ."

What I really said " I'm so sorry Nora that must hurt your heart huh? I bet Sally hasn't been shown what it is to be a true friend like you have . Let's pray for her that she can learn to be a good friend and let's just continue to be kind to her and if she continues to be mean let's keep our distance "

This Sally kept her whole tough girl routine with Nora ,the whole lets be friends and then turns around the next day to tell her were no longer friends . Nora's asked to get her desk moved and she did that all on her own and has chosen to keep her distance .




Girls can be so mean and I know Nora has probably hurt a friends feelings a time or two ,but I'm working really hard to raise a sweet, compassionate girl that will treat people differently. And these Sally's are really cramping my style !







Nora has the opportunity to go to a public charter school close to our home. The school is smaller and she has been on the waiting list there for some time now and now she has moved to the number one spot and were just waiting on a phone call because we are for sure getting her out of this public school she is in now because I'm terrified of what she's going to be exposed to in the upcoming years! And I have heard terrible I mean terrible stories of things that go on in the middle school . I have prayed for this option but somehow there has been this shift in my heart . Maybe this charter isn't where Nora should go , she has a core group of great friends at her school now and I know the families of these girls and they all attend our church( bonus ). And remember that whole thing I just said before about not operating out of fear ..this is me totally doing that .. Crap! Now I'm conflicted ..we could get to the new school and have just as many scary monsters to face as we do now ..maybe that's a part of our kids growing up . It's no longer us worried about them falling off the couch or choking on a grape. It's Sally in class or john who says bad words ( shut up, worst 2nd grade word out there ) and has to get a pink slip everyday.






I have no clue what were going to do so I asked Nora and she said :

" I wanna go to a new school and make new friends "

- well Nora there are lots of kids at your school now that you could potentially become friends with that you don't know yet , and your in second grade your going to make so many new friends in the coming years girly ..you don't need to go to a new school to make new friends !

OK so now I'm trying to talk her out of going to a new school? What is happening?

So I have been praying on it - what God has revealed to me is that I just want Nora to have a solid group of Christian girl friends that she can grow with ! And to read books while wearing turtle necks all day and never talk to boys ! But seriously girl friends are super flipping important and crucial in our life as we grow up and even when we get older. So I'm starting a Friday night Bible study here at my house for Nora and her girl friends .pray for me . I'm praying that this can be something awesome and solid in their lives that will help them grow in Christ and in their friendships.

And really we haven't even been accepted into this school yet so I'll make that decision when I get the call.

Paper work is done with our home study !!

Physicals are done . We are all healthy ! Nora had to get a tb test done . It was the worst , I mean it was really the pits! Lots of screaming lots of kicking a couple of get away from me's! An extra nurse was called in and I was uncontrollably sweating. Tb test is done ..Thank you Jesus ! And after Nora had the nerve to say it didn't hurt .uhhhh. I still sweat thinking about it.

Now we have to complete ten hours of online course training on international adoption .
We have raised a little over 2,000 dollars so far !!! This just about covers the cost of the home study! We are so moved by everyone and there generosity to see a need and make the decision to be so generous to meet it . Y'all are seriously life changers !

We have decided to choose a different adoption agency then originally intended . They are just as reputable and accredited as the one we originally intended on working with . But they are just a better fit for our circumstance and aiding us in moving forward. We still have a long journey ahead and we are so grateful for all the prayers and support we get from everyone.

The link to our fundraising page is Here

Comfy

-Comfy -
one of my favorite words! Sends warm cozy thoughts running through my head.
 I picture my home. More specifically my room where an oversized bed with a large down comforter lays. Pajamas are on and there's nothing to do , and somehow there's a chai tea latte in my hand. My face is washed from all my makeup and I have a large mound of hair on top of my head (we call these fun buns ).
    Ahhhhhh COMFY!
I like being comfy , I mean who doesn't ? (Other then insane ladies who wear high heels or men that wear super duper tight jeans )
Comfort is something I seek out in life and look forward to in my days. I like to be comfortable in our finances, comfortable in the foods I eat , the school that I send my children too , the doctors we see for check ups. I like to be comfortable in my relationships , in my neighborhood ,in the route I am driving and in most all decisions that I make in life !
I just want to feel comfortable . Is that so wrong ? Insert guilt here .

God didn't say " my daughter here is a life full of gifts , now get comfortable " but the World sure does . And this world is so loud!

  In our decision to adopt we have given God our desires for a cushy comfy life for a life filled with unknowns.
 "I love adoption" that's an easy thing to say .
 But feeling so heartbroken for orphans that we are going to do something about it was not an easy decision .Ross and I had many conversations about money and finances before making this decision. And what it came down to was ..what does God say about all this?

James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Ok that's pretty clear.
  I often go to a place where I imagine myself standing before Christ and he is talking with me about the life he has given me and all he has blessed me with.
Gosh, I am so darn grateful for what I have but I also know he's going to ask me what I did with the gifts he has given me and I know that I have the ability to make that conversation one where my father is proud.


Ross had Friday off  from work last week so we were able to get some stuff done . Fingerprints and background checks are completed ! All of our paperwork is filled out for our home study and we are waiting for our physicals next week! Then we send it all in and wait to hear from  the agency .

The heat here in California has brought us indoors the past few weeks, we've been standing In front of fans and laying on the cold wood floors. But this evening the air is cooler and we have ventured back outdoors.

                                                     Nora tilling up the land!

Rush is happy the slide is not burning his skin!


If you would like to donate to our adoption Click here



 

Equipped

  Today  I am going over all our home study paperwork . I have a checklist of things that need to be done and scheduled in order for us to move forward.
    Background checks and finger prints
     Physicals and doctors appointment for all of us, so our Dr's can sign off that were all healthy enough to bring another child into our home !
    Save lots of money.
     And then we can have a social worker come out to our home and make sure we are fit parents. On this day I will bathe my children and mop my floors.  Who am I kidding?

 We have begun this kitchen remodel that has no end in sight. But I'm OK with it actually I feel content about it not being finished.
We have done enough work for our cups and bowls to be accessible - if I was being really motivated I would like to at least get one drawer installed for silverware, but it's manageable .

Instead of focusing on my kitchen not being completed I'm focusing on how rad it is that we finally own our own home. This home is going to be where our children grow and look to as their safe haven. I remember my first home as a child and all the memories that little room I occupied  blessed me with . That amazing pink carpeting and Koala bed spread.
    My girlfriends and I putting on endless dance routines for my family, and all the holidays and family get togethers. Those years in my  first home I don't recall the projects my parents took on. I'm sure there were many but my focus as a child was the joy and fun that filled that house .

  So when I look at my outdated /unfinished kitchen I'm looking at it through a new lens. A lens that shows me how blessed I am to have tons of counter space to cook meals for friends  to gather around. A lens that shows me that I'm equipped to sift through these thoughts of
being "unprepared " to adopt and move forward because I have an unfinished kitchen . Dumb I know. But real thoughts I have had.

 So we're filling out paper work . Signing papers . We're asked things like " tell me about your child hood " and we are given three lines to fill that question . Ughhhhh ..Good ? Ha no.."amazing " my childhood was amazing my parents are amazing .. Please let us adopt a child ! Not quite what we said but that's what it feels like.

All of our Dr's appointments are scheduled  for early September . Apparently if your not sick your doctors won't let you schedule appointments for the following day . Things you learn at 27 years old.
     So were just moving right along on this path God has carved out for us and know that he will equip us with every good thing to do His will ,for His glory.

We could also use prayer. Nora has begun second grade and has  taken on an extra layer of "spunk"

 Rush has become a full fledge walker and climber ( this is safe ?)

And we always need prayer for our adoption - God loves adoption but the adversary does not and is strong but our God is stronger !!! 

 If your looking for a way to help us , please pray for us and our family. Also,Our adoption fundraising page can be found here - Fundraising page

We're adopting

   

Wow I just ripped that off like a bandaid. I have been coming up with catchy (corny) phrases on how I wanted to announce this news, but none of them were right. Now that it's out in the open I will explain how this has all begun and where we are heading.

  It was a really hard decision
 11 hour car ride to Northern California
 Me "remember how we were talking about adoption , well I have been thinking about it a lot lately ..
 Like constantly .! I am having dreams about going to Africa and stealing all the orphans. I have     prayed on it and I think it might be the time ."

Ross  "alright let's do it !"

  Alright, well maybe it wasn't that complicated at all. There is so much I want to share with you about the "why" we made this decision. My home is filled with a lot of love and were all buzzing with this new idea of bringing a new family member into our home .

Truthfully,  Nora was not thrilled right away . She has gone through a lot of change in her life and I think she was ready for life to just stay the same for a bit . I was praying her heart would change
 With the more we talked about this adoption . One night she came out of her bedroom for the thousandth time like she always does.
"Mom I want to adopt now "
   Me - "what  oh hunny that is so great , what made you change your mind ?"
" I really want a little sister and I want to name her ."
Me " wow that's super special Nora that would be so great ,what would you want to name her "
"Annie "
Me " oh WOW! Like little orphan Annie ? "
"Ya I love that movie"

From that point on Nora has been on board (Rushy too) I crushed her dreams and let her know that name is off limits ( I can hear the people talking now - " could she really not come up with a better name ")


There's so much that is still unknown but what we do know is God is in this adoption. He loves orphans and will prepare us for whatever our future babe needs.


Love you all and appreciate all the prayers and guidance in this journey.
If you have it on your heart to Financially help us we have created a fundraising page to help bring our child home .Fundraising page